Musings on Poker and Other Stuff
I'm not sure what I expected. Considering that almost everything in my life has gone a bit backwards, I suppose this makes sense. My life is nothing, if not a bit unusual. I digress. The point is. I'm engaged.
I make Heath a book every year to showcase all the things we have done that year. I call them chapters in the story of a boy and a girl. The first year I did it, I wasn't sure if there would be any more chapters to come. But I knew I had enjoyed the last year immensely and I wanted to show Heath that he was forever a part of MY story now. The books have gotten bigger and bigger as our lives revolve around each other more and more. It is always an interesting reflection and reminder of all the things you share over the course of a year.
I had just finished the one for this year. I snuck it in while he was in LA working on a movie.
We were on Skype talking about a fight we had the previous weekend. Finally I just told him. I made a decision. "Heath, if you don't want to spend the rest of your life with me. If, after 5 years, you aren't sure I'm the one. Then, let me go so I can find someone that knows they want to." I was just overcome with the feeling that now was my time and that we were on a precipice. Either this was my soul mate, and I was convinced that it was. Or, it was time to fold our hand and move on. This was a situation I had likely wanted to bluff many times before, but I didn't know if I was ready for his action. Sometimes you just know. I put my chips in the middle.
And then...so did he. Apparently he had been holding out for Aces.
He calmly told me to open his night table drawer. I did. And after some digging I found the most perfect black box. It was the box every girl waits for. I opened it. WIthout any awareness of his view on Skype.
It was absolutely the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. Everything I wanted and then some. He wasn't on the fence. He knew already. But I guess he needed someone to push the action. He asked me to please come to LA and see him. Which brought me back to beginning of our relationship when I lived in LA and he lived in Vegas. The first chapter. Now, I was coming from OUR home in Vegas to see him working in film in LA. That used to be my life!
As I boarded the plane the next day I was overcome by the irony. I knew in my heart that we would have many, many more chapters in our "book." And at the same time, we would have very little control over the direction our story takes. 5 years ago if you told me I would be carrying his ring with me from Vegas to LA, I might have hoped, but never believed. We have made an interesting circle. Regardless of what crazy path gets you there...I think, the circle is perfect.