Sarah Grant

Musings on Poker and Other Stuff

Living Like a Lady

July 03, 2011

Tags: Sarah grant, Drunk, Golden nugget, Tournament, Poker.

So, I have never been known for being 'a lady,' or knowing when to say the right thing, or knowing when to say nothing for that matter. Then, if you add in several glasses, or should I say bottles of chardonnay, it can really go the direction of probably a little bit offensive. I actually think people have referred to it as THE SARAH GRANT SHOW. Funny thing about it, it happens the worst when I am playing poker. After I took third at one of the Golden Nugget Grand Events I woke up with several regrets about the final table. There were at least two spots where I know I made the wrong fold or the wrong shove. But, all in all, I got drunk, had fun and came home richer. Good day off.
Oh no, I was about to have a talking to. I won't say by who, but let me just say this person knows me well and saw the whole thing go down. Apparently they were trying to cut me off. They told me a few times I was out of line. (I don't think this is true.) But the truth is: NO ONE STOPPED ME!! So if I was such a menace, why didn't someone punish me? I see people get penalties all day for silly accidents and I am causing an enormous scene and I don't get punished until the next day by my significant other. oh geez it slipped.

Here is my theory: Woman can do those things and it is funny.
Because woman are supposed to be timid and cute and demure, everyone is so shocked when a woman is vulgar and aggressive and offensive. Thus, when they see this, it is more like entertainment than it is something that causes an actual problem. There is nothing actually scary about me at a poker table. But I will talk some trash, boy!!! If I was a man, I would have been asked to leave I think, or probably gotten my butt beat down.

Example 1: I told the guy in the one seat, who I had been casually referring to as baby face all day, (finding nickname to alienate the other players from being real people in your mind is a key to this kind of trash talking), that I was going to take his girlfriend. She wasn't even that good looking. In fact she was a little overweight and her breasts were hanging everywhere. It doesn't matter, for shock value I want to make them both a little bit uncomfortable while simultaneously making all the guys at the table crazy. If a man were to say he was going to take someones girlfriend, I think that ends in fists flying.

Example 2: There was a guy there from Sweden who didn't agree to pay out the bubble. I thought this was very rude and decided his nickname would be mother f*#-er. I called him this all night while making fun of him every time he did anything. When he would raise I would say in my best (worst) Swedish accent, "oh really, mother f---er, in your ridiculous yellow shirt, you want to raise. I have a an idea. I re-raise. Want to borrow a tampon." I'm sure the crowd that had developed at this point shockingly even though it was 4am was just thinking, "where did they get this girl....she is completely insane."

I think when they cut me off I just started storing drinks under my chair. Any yes, of course I eventually spilled one.

Obviously the joke is on me. I came to the final table the chip leader and ended up with third because you can only be SO drunk an still play good poker. I had managed it for over 12 hours but into hour 16 I was waning. The only thing that kept plaguing me after was....if I was so unruly, how did I get by?

Being a woman. I run so good.