Sarah Grant
Musings on Poker and Other Stuff
The Pot and the Kettle
I recently went on an overnight trip to LA for a photo shoot. A friend of ours who is super cool and dynamic invited Heath to participate in working with this dope photographer Tyleron an apocalyptic themed shoot. The shoot went awesome, I'm sure I'll have the pix to post soon. But shoot became very interesting and I must say I am ashamed at myself. I let myself act as judge and jury for someone else. I acted like a hypocrite and a gossip. The friend of ours will be called Joe for the purpose of this blog. 
Joe is quite the character and ever since we have known him he has been attached to a very lovely lady we shall call Katie. Really Katie and Joe did everything together it seemed. She was always with him when he came to town or met us anywhere. She didn't have a job anything but that seemed to suit them very well. She was free to travel and play with Joe. I got to know her a little bit and actually started to like her. At first, like any hot girl, I assumed she was a mental midget, but she turned out to be very endearing. About a year ago when we saw the two of them in Vegas, they had gotten engaged. The proposal sounded absolutely magical!
Anyways, when I went to the shoot with Heath, I expected (which everyone knows is dumb) that she would be there. In the taxi on the way there, one of the other 'talent' for the shoot said that Joe and Katie had broken up. No Way I snap-called his bluff. I had just seen pix on facebook of them last week, looking all in love. Well, when we showed up, not only was Katie not there, but there was a new girl there in her place.
I was totally freaked out. How could this be? How could they have broken up? And more importantly how could she have been replaced so fast? It was kind of ironic because on the flight down I was stressing about the World Series and some work stuff and I was thinking how nice it would be to be Katie and just travel around with your beau and not have to worry about work. And yet, even after I had that thought, the thought creeped in, but then you put yourself in the position of being totally screwed if he leaves you. And in this case, he did.
I think I let it come into my mind that there was a time when if Heath left me I would have been totally up sh*t creek. I let all my insecurities fill up in me. I felt every time I had been betrayed. I thought about how Katie probably couldn't sleep and how Joe seemed to be having the time of his life. I remembered knowing that jealousy. It just touched on lots of pain.
I was nice enough to his new girl, after all, it really wasn't her fault. And I was nice enough to him too. I really like and respect him. But after a few glasses of wine i really started letting it out. I started judging and questioning. How could he do that to her? How could he be so happy? What about loyalty? What about Love? I bitched and moaned until Heath had to ask me to please stop. Really, I probably kept on after that.
When I awoke the next morning to head back to Vegas I had a terrible and guilty feeling in my stomach. (that wasn't just the WSOP stress). I knew in my heart that I had acted as if it was my job to judge someone else. I have no idea what their relationship was like on the inside. I don't know his heart. I don't know that it won't end up being the best thing for her. I don't know anything about anything. And moreover, let's be honest, it isn't as if I haven't broken a few hearts. It isn't as if I haven't watched someone beg me to come back and felt hardly anything. I left someone for their best friend once.
So while i had my pity party of all the sorrow I had experienced at the hands of lovers. I forgot to remember the damage I too have caused. And that with each lasting or broken relationship comes some kernel of truth. Who am I to keep that from anyone?
My First APPT
I have always heard tons about the Philippines. Heath had gone as a guest for a fight a few years ago and came back raving. So naturally when Lynn requested to trade me for the Grand Final, I was more than happy to oblige. I opted to go a few days early. It made my flight cheaper, and that way I could enjoy some beach time before we headed to the Airport Hotel and Casino to work.
The water was incredibly clear. I fed the fish with little crumbly pieces of bread and they crowded around me with no fear. It was kind of like coming full circle. Let me explain. When I was younger I had a totally irrational fear of fish. I would swim but only with extreme trepidation. I was constantly imagining what might be lurking below me. Now, I was able to let them brush past my arms and legs in swift movement to score a bit of the tasty delight.
Speaking of tasty delights. I believe I had never really had a mango until I had a mango in the Philippines. They are known for having the juiciest and most mouth watering mangos on the planet. I actually <gasp> was drinking mixed drinks instead of wine. Nothing like a mango daiquiri to melt away my fish fears.
The Filippino people are known for being very welcoming and kind. And they did not disappoint. And what is more, the staff and players were equally as incredible. Having never done an APPT I was a bit worried about being a fish out of water so to speak. But the people welcomed me warmly like we'd known each other forever. I immediately felt at home.
So much so that I thought, we might just have to move there. It turns out you can get a place on the beach for $100 a month. We could live like kings. Which we did while we were there.
Into the Abyss
Just watched this movie the other day by Werner Herzog called Into The Abyss. I watch a lot of documentaries, and a lot of powerful ones at that. But there are some moments in a documentary that make you re-examine yourself. Granted a lot of moments after I watch a good doc I want to sign a petition, start a garden, start a revolution, etc. Every now and then something really makes you look at yourself. Now, Into the Abyss is described as:
Conversations with death row inmate Michael Perry and those affected by his crime serve as an examination of why people - and the state - kill.
Not exactly something I am expecting to relate to and definitely not something I am imagining is going to garner a lot of self reflection. But, low and behold, the universe had a little gem waiting for me. Now, the documentary itself was very interesting. Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE Dateline NBC for all its in depth case studies. It is amazing to me that normal, or seemingly normal, people KILL people. And sadly, like watching the wreckage of a car crash or something, I often find myself, having a Dateline marathon. However, that is not what interested me about his particular documentary.
During one of part of the show Herzog was interviewing Fred Allen, a modern day executioner. Knowing Texans a little bit, I was very shocked by his interview. Here is a clip.
After watching that it blew my mind that something as simple as a genuine thank you from a pure heart had changed his whole world. My mind was wrapped up in so many concepts: Love, forgiveness, compassion, empathy, intention, language.......omg, was this guy for real? So I looked up the woman he was talking about:
Karla Faye Tucker
Not really sure how I never heard about that before. But apparently it was a big deal. Even Larry king interviewed her:
Larry King Interview
And yet, the thing that made his experience of her so poignant, wasn't really her. It was the power of words said with truth and intention. She said hardly anything but she said it with love and forgiveness at a time when most are likely at least a little bit bitter. I think a lot of people can never even admit they did anything wrong. (Although some really never did anything, but that is another blog altogether). In some way the film revealed the character of each person by the nature of how they spoke. In fact, I don't think this was something the film intended to do, but something revealed by humans innately all the time.
Of course this made me think of the power of words both good and bad. In general I think the power of words is much stronger in kindness and compassion than in hate and anger. But neither can be discounted. And I have said many shitty things in my life and hope that they were forgotten. Obviously when someone says something shitty to me, I try to forget. But those things said genuinely out of a truthful heart that are full of empathy and compassion, those things are not easily or likely forgotten. I think to say something publicly like one does in a blog is to declare to the world your own intention. So, I affirm here, my intention: to speak with gentle compassion, genuine forgiveness, and loving kindness as often as I possibly can.
The Latest Gems
So every now and then I like to post the most recent viral videos or things I've discovered on the internet that I love.
1. I used to go to Coachella every year. Here is a pic from one of the years I went with my LA crew. We stayed up almost the whole time with a few brief interludes of napping in the tent. Only to be awoken gross and sweaty when the sun rose on our tent...which was essentially a sauna by 6am. I had a blast and I am sad to see Coachella come and go minus me. 
But who was there that you wouldn't expect? Tupac. Check it out.
HOLOGRAMS! Boom. My mom used to watch Star Trek when I was a kid, religiously. Even Deep Space Nine. And I remember I used to think that if I could only have a hologram reality I could be in love with whomever I wanted. I would pray for a Brad Pitt hologram. Welp, we are almost there! Yippie....next stop....fantasy land. Who would I pick now? What would YOUR hologram reality look like?
Now this little girl is making her own reality!
Obviously it is me, so I have to put a dog something in there somewhere.
And this one reminded me about the little pleasures we all enjoy in this life and sometimes forget to appreciate. LIKE MUSIC.
Hope you enjoy them as much I did this week! Off to Cebu on Thursday! Can't wait!!
When I Win One Drop
I just heard a few days ago that it would be possible to satellite into the One Drop Million Dollar Buy In Event for only $65. Talk about a return on investment. What an incredible opportunity. Not to mention it is good for the world too, as One Drop provides sustainable access to water around the world. It got me thinking what would I do with a million dollars....I mean I know people who have gone through way more than a million dollars in a few years. It seems like a LOT to me. But then, how much is it really? What could I actually do with it, if I had to spend it all.
-First I would tithe 10%. Probably a lot of it would go to animal shelters that are no kill Best Friends
-I would buy a new car. Definitely would be energy efficient. Likely a Tesla
-I would buy some property that is farmable and has some water on it. It would probably end up being in Texas as that is where Heath wants to end up and I can live anywhere.
-I would buy solar panels for my new property.
-I would want to rent a huge place and throw a party for my friends and family. Maybe we could do it like a vacation...rent a villa or something on a Vinyard!
-I would take this gun class in Vegas where you spend 3-4 days really learning how to handle a weapon and do it well. And get a gun.
-Start getting facials and massages.
-get a new phone. ( i have the iphone 3 since I lost my other one in January)
-Start a college fund for my pseudo nephew Cam.
-rent a car and drive through Switzerland and Tuscany. (since my trip to Campione)
-Probably get an apartment here in Vegas so I don't have to worry about rent. There are some so cheap right now that are amazing. And I think I will always play poker, so having a place here would never be bad. A unit down the hall from us just got forclosed on and it sold for $83k.
-Buy Heath into the main
-Give my brother a downpayment on a house.
-buy some gold
-Buy a seed bank
-A supply of dried food
-a really good water purifier
-A wine cellar!
-a new work out wardrobe including awesome shoes
Something like that...and probably a lot more!!!
Poseidon Look at Me
I never eat cheese. I only eat carbs once a day. I try to avoid sugar. I travel a lot and I know if I let myself indulge every time I go somewhere with some culinary delights...I will end up looking so bad on camera they might not send me anymore anyways. That being said, I made a decision to just let myself blow it out in Italy. And have I ever. In fact, I am still hung over at 6pm. But that is another story. I have been eating cheese with every meal. I just finished off a croissant. I ate almost an entire pizza. I am really going for it. I LOVE ITALY. I love Swtizerland. I love this choice to eat my face off. And from the moment I heard I was coming on this event, I started wondering about the party. Then, the event manager emailed me to let me know it was going to be ON A BOAT.
After watching that video about 75 times and chanting all week that I'm on a boat. I finally got on a boat.
Then I was Facebook stalking Olivier Busquet before my interview and I saw his wifey in his pix. I was like, she is smoking. Obviously he makes the final table and who is there to rail him? His lovely lady. My response is to try to get her into a video. Then I discovered several other beauties as well.
I love my job!
Impressions of Campione
Just landed in Campione and did a little bit of exploring. Holy Cow this place is so beautiful.
Just strolling along and of course stumbled upon this gorgeous swan swimming upon Lake Lugano.
As I type this I can hear a bell ringing somewhere to let me know that it is 4pm. It seems so ancient and lovely to keep track of time that way. If I wasn't so enjoying the view from my hotel room,
I might actually get up and get ready for my big dinner tonight. We are heading out to a Grotto across the lake for some official home cooking.
I don't know how it is possible that after all these years of traveling around Europe and even living in Europe for a semester that I have NEVER been to Italy. Or Switzerland for that matter. Well, the truth is that I was saving my Italian adventure for a chance when I could really spend a long time and indulge. Like say...my honeymoon. But, as the fates would have it, my opportunity came before that and I couldn't be more grateful.
Flying over the Alps this morning at sunrise I was absolutely blown away. Here is the best version I could find.
I'm a Rocky Mountain girl originally and I LOVE mountains. However, these things are like nothing I've ever seen. They just go on and on with their white caps. Even from the misty lake here one can see some snow caps peaking out in the distance. Thus, Heath and I settled it. He used to drive from Holland to Italy all the time and is going to do it for me. I want to see the whole of Switzerland and Italy. Okay, so it might not happen on this trip. But I am inspired. I am in awe. I am blessed.
When We Were Young
Every time I go home I am reminded of where I come from. Obviously. But it is unusual in that I end up looking at picture after picture of moments I don't even remember. It is so crazy to see a picture of yourself, recognize it as yourself, but still not be able to relate to that person at all. I wonder if that only occurs in the years 0-15. Like somehow after 15 you have consciousness of your memories as being a part of you. Before that, you just have moments. And then some times years and years after that, you are confronted by pictures where you were so in the moment, those memories don't even exist. Yet, they are part of what shaped you. On some strange level you recognize that. I found some treasures.
Looking through the pictures I couldn't help but see that an alarming number of people had died. Many had been relegated to non-friends after some fights. People were just gone from my life. I realized that in my life I don't want that! I want to extend my hand in love and forgiveness to those who deserve it. I think that is the difference between a stranger and someone you love. A stranger has no reason to see you through shitty times both inside and out. But a friend will see you through your shit. A friend will recognize that you aren't perfect. A friend will know that loyalty is the key to friendship. But forgiveness is the only way to truly know another.
Here is a picture of my dad on his wedding day. He and his friends have endured more than their fair share of death, drugs, destruction & divorce. But, truth was on the other side. And those who made it to that side, know it.
RIP those lost. you are missed.
Top 10 Lesser Known Music Artists
So my besty from LA came to Vegas last weekend and mentioned she had read my last blog, but was less than impressed. She reminded me of tons of bands that had shaped our young minds that I had completely failed to endorse on my top ten. Upon reflecting on her assertion I realized that she was right. The list needed to be amended. Last weeks list was definitely a good mixture of Top Ten Top 40 artists from different genres. But what I failed to do was account for all the artists who are epic, but not seen as such. The artists that are genius but more on the fringe of popular culture.
Edith Piaf
Sigur Ros
Ani DiFranco--my bi-sexual days would be mad if I failed to include this gem
Muse- although since my youth it has become increasingly popular
Ray La Montagne-one of the best songs ever written & there are many!
Rancid- so may sick punk albums
Daft Punk
Murder City Devils- a genre all to itself...an organ and a lotta rock
Anticon- this is an entire record label featuring some incredible underground hip hop like: Dos One, Sole, Subtle
Jeff Buckley--one of the most angelic things to happen to rock
I'm ignoring classical at this point, think I will hit that up at a later date.
Don't Do It in The Park
I was sitting at breakfast the other morning reading a book by Marcus Borg called Speaking Christian. The book is essentially about how certain words have been used and overused and manipulated. He breaks down the meanings and also the historical movement of the words from their original purpose to the function they serve today. It got me thinking about myself as a person, and as a Christian. I realized that I am a really shitty example of a Christian in lots of ways these days. A big one of them being the things I let spew from my mouth. I followed this line of thought all the way to why I cuss like a sailor. And moreover, why I say things which are very opinionated, often graphic, and typically offensive.
Somehow I have morphed over my years from someone who was known as being very sweet and sensitive to someone who is crude and often angry. Funny thing is, inside I think I am more thoughtful than I ever was before. I am more loving and careful with those that i love in the last years than I used to be. So, why now has my exterior become so crass? Suddenly it dawned on me that I don't say most things because I mean them. I say things for effect. I want to get a reaction from people. I like watching people recoil at me.
I've even started this crusade as an AMERICAN. I've lived all over the world. But for some bizarre reason I present myself as the BIGGEST American on the planet both in political opinion, accent, and demeanor. I don't know that it is authentic. Part of it started because Gloria was on this tournament circuit as a pseudo-Euro. I imagine I wanted to differentiate myself from her. So instead of presenting myself as worldly and informed. I opted to be the sarcastic American.
Anyways, I don't want to be a series of reactions. I want to be REAL and true. More than that, I would love to be the kind of person that people feel good being around. I want to be a living example.
After having this whole realization, my camera guy at the moment Will sent me over a video which was very apropos. Does this guy say things from his heart....or for effect. I think that is clear!
