Musings on Poker and Other Stuff
If it really is the end of the world tomorrow, I'm probably going to regret wasting the last two days running errands, going to the grocery store and deep cleaning my apartment. This is some sort of cathartic return from travel that I ALWAYS do. When I get home...pretty much no matter what time...I always start my laundry and unpack my bag. It is kind of sick. I recognize that.
The following day after hopefully sleeping as many hours as possible, I can't seem to return to normal life until I've cleaned the apartment thoroughly. I have the distinct feeling that until the dust is shed from the shelves I haven't fully returned home. And probably more out of necessity I must grocery shop. It is a sort of ritual. Part of my coming and going.
It got me thinking about all the things in our lives that become rituals. Some of them good, and some of them bad. Heath mentioned to me the other day that I usually do my phone calls when making dinner. I hadn't really thought about it. But, he is right. I can barely chew gum and walk. So, trying to have a conversation that is meaningful and doing anything that isn't 2nd nature is impossible for me. Honestly I can't even grocery shop and talk on the phone because I always forget things and, simultaneously I am not totally present in the conversation. I guess, without my realizing it has become a sort of ritual for me.
I remember when I first was trying to quit smoking, it was impossible for me to get into my car without wanting a cigarette. Now, I would never consider it. But I had developed some kind of synapse fire which went immediately from car to cigarette. How many of these do I still have unknowingly in my life? How many times do I let my little mini-traditions dictate my moment to moment reality?
I guess just living is an act in both being awake at times and sometimes being in a semi-sleeping state. Although being ever-present is the goal of course, it is a very arduous and trying task. WIth a season ripe with tradition right here and also the season of setting goals and making changes I was to stake claim to my goal. I want to actively chose each moment and not let my habits or rituals dictate my life.
I want to be mindful of the things I value most in this life. Top Ten off the Top of My Head
Here's a pic a fellow journalist sent from EPT Prague. And Happy Holidays!! I leave this blog with gratitude and Love!